December Boredom
by MoreThanHer
Summary: Once again it's that time of year, when everyone is filled with holiday cheer. But when the Flock get's bored, what do they do? Well of course it's dear Iggy, to the rescue! Christmas one-shot.


**Just a little one-shot to celebrate the holidays. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride.**

**

* * *

**

"Ugh," Nudge groaned, rolling onto her stomach on the couch. "I'm so _bored_."

"Go play outside," Max suggested, sipping her hot cocoa.

"It's too cold," Gazzy said, hanging upside down from the back of the Dr. Martinez's Lay-Z-Boy. The flock were staying with her over the holidays, not wanting to stay outside in the snow all winter.

"Then put a jacket on," Max said.

"Eh, too lazy," he replied. She just rolled her eyes and went back to sipping her drink.

Suddenly the front door burst open, and a snow covered Iggy ran into the house, his scarf wrapped tightly around his face and muffling his next words.

"What was that, Ig?" Max asked. He removed the scarf to a reveal a wide smile.

"I've got it!" he shoyted.

"Got what?" Fang asked, coming into the room.

"The solution to our boredom problem," he explained, going over and sitting in the rocking chair by the fireplace.

"Did you find something to blow up?" Gazzy asked excitedly.

"Sadly, no. But I was walking through town when it started snowing, so I went into the Mini-Mart and tried to wait it out. And while I was there they played The Night Before Christmas over the intercom, like, a hundred times." He smiled at them all expectantly, waiting for them to figure it out.

"And this helps, how ...?" Max asked.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "I thought that I could tell you guys the story. You know, to pass the time. I've got it memorized and everything."

"Oh, Iggy! That's perfect!" Angel said, pulling a blanket around her shoulders and sitting in front of the fire.

"Yeah!" Nudge and Gazzy shouted. Ella, who'd been reading in the kitchen, came in with a cup of hot chocolate and joined Nudge on the couch.

"Um ... I think I'll pass," Max said, getting up to leave.

"Ditto," Fang said, following.

"Fang. Sit," Angel said in a semi-creepy voice. Fang tried to fight the thoughts she was pushing on him, but still ended up sitting down.

"Ange, you even _try_ that with me and I'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild," Max said.

She turned to leave again, but Iggy's voice stopped her. "Maximum Ride!" he shouted, giving her a stern look. "Sit your but down _now!_"

She looked at him, shocked, then slowly moved over to the couch, sitting between Ella and Fang.

"Okay," Iggy said in a much calmer voice. "Here we go."

He took a deep breath and started reciting:

_'Twas the night before Christmas, and I didn't need my tazer,_

_For not a creature was stirring, not even an Eraser._

"Um, Ig?" Max interupted. "Are you sure that's how it goes?"

"Positive," he said, jumping right back into the story.

_Gazzy's socks hung by the chimney, polluting the air,_

_Even though he knew, St. F-Nicholas would soon be there._

"Saint _what?_" Fang asked.

Iggy sighed. "I'm never going to be able to finish this if you keep interrupting," he said. Fang scowled, but remained quiet.

_Angel was nestled snug in her bed,_

_While visions of world-domination danced in her head._

_With Max in her converse and Fang in his black,_

_From their make-out session they were just getting back._

Max and Fang glared at him, but Angel kept them in their spots with a persuasive (if not somewhat possessed) look.

_Then out on the lawn arose such a clatter,_

_That Max nearly choked on her cookie dough batter._

_Out of the door she flew super fast,_

_The wind hitting her in a big chilly blast._

_The moon was blocked out by M-geeks so dumb,_

_But the great Iggy blew them all to Kingdom Come._

_Then, what to my searching ears should appear,_

_The sound of a six fangirls, doing a cheer._

_Max gawked at the driver, so emo and slick,_

_She knew at that moment it must be St. F-Nick._

"I thought I was inside with Max," Fang said.

"But you're ninja, remember? You can be _anywhere_." Iggy took advantage of his confused silence and continued.

_We ran back inside when the fangirl cheer was done,_

_Redheads they were, every last one._

_"On fangirls, go forth, and give them their gifts!_

_Just don't talk to Max, because to pieces you'll be ripped!_

_Oh no here she comes! With a crossbow in tow!_

_Onto the roof, the only safe place to go!"_

_With wings of pitch black, or so I've heard,_

_He lifted them past the first story, and to the roof of the third._

_So up to the house-tops the fangirls they flew,_

_With a sleigh full of toys and St. F-Nicholas too._

_Max ran back inside, and heard on the roof,_

_The clatter of each little stiletto boot._

_As she shut the door, and turned around,_

_Down the chimney St. F-Nicolas came with a bound._

_He was covered in fur, from his head to his toe,_

_And he looked very pimp, as far as saints go._

"Max?" Angel whispered. "What's a pimp?"

"Later, sweetie," she said.

_A bundle of toys was thrown over his shoulder,_

_Though at my head he threw a very large boulder._

Fang sighed wistfully. "If only ...."

_His eyes - how they twinkled! Max nearly fainted!_

_Making a light pink on her face be painted._

_His lips twitched into the smile she missed,_

_And it grossed me out when they started to kiss._

_The lap top he carried in his faithful man purse,_

_Binged quite loudly, making him curse._

_A comment on the blog that read quite plainly,_

_"Get your butt back in bed this instant, young lady!"_

_From Dr. M it was signed, making Max sigh,_

_She blushed so red, she felt she could die._

_A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,_

_Bored me to death, so I went off to bed._

_He went to each sock, and covered it in Febreze,_

_But still the smell, it would not ease._

_When the presents were set he left with a nod,_

_And soon St. F-Nicholas was away and gone._

_To his fangirls he ran, and gave them a wave,_

_They all nearly fainted on the roof that they played._

Iggy took a deep breath, smiling as he said the parting lines:

_He said not a word, but I did as I turned out the light,_

_"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

* * *

_

**Happy Holidays!**

_-Sammy  
_


End file.
